The Senility Prayer

God, grant me the Senility
to forget the people I never liked anyway, 
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, 
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Little known Southern expressions

I was born backwards and have been losing ground ever since.

I may be ugly but at least always try to be sociable.

Reports of funny retorts

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx

"If you were my husband I'd give you poison,"... "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
An exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor

More Retorts

This is a 3D chalk drawing by Julian Beever.

More illusion like this and the columns can be seen at Mighty Optical Illusions.